Rum Tum Tugger’s Guide to Dating
by Electric Fire
Summary: {CATS fanfiction.} Rum Tum Tugger is very popular with the queens and the kittens. What if a book of all his dating secrets fell into the hands of the younger toms? What would happen then? What would you do? {Chapter 2 is Up]
1. Parte Uno

Rum Tum Tugger's Guide to Dating  
A CATS Fanfiction  
By Electric Fire

**Parte Uno**

Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore, Sighed Quaxo, whom you may also know as the Magical Mister Misoffelees.  
Misto, as his friends liked to call him, was speaking to the silent morning that surrounded him.  
He took a lap of his warm saucer of cream and thought for a minute, If he is such a bore, why do all the kittens and queens love him?  
The magical Jellicle shook his head, It doesn't make sense! I'm lovable, kind - why, I have magical powers for Deuteronomy's sake! What has he got that I haven't?  
How about ten tons of handsome appeal'? Mungojerrie said, crawling out of the pipe from the junkyard and into Quaxo's small liar, You know, you could answer the door once in a while..  
Thanks Mungo. That was just what I needed to hear... the cat sighed and lapped up the rest of his cream, What are you doing here? Without your sister no less?  
Mungojerrie grinned playfully, Why can't your ol' pal Mungojerrie stop in for a visit occasionally? Quaxo raised his eyebrows and Mungo continued, I did happen to come upon a somewhat... interestin' item recently, and I thought I'd show it to you, and get a second opinion of sorts.  
Meaning you stole it, Correct?  
Why! I am hurt, I am! the cat burglar cat grinned, Here it is, in any case.  
Mungojerrie handed a small leather-bound book to Quaxo, who glanced over it, Leave it with me a little while, and I'll get back to you. That all right with you?  
The other cat just grinned, Sure... whatever you say, Misto. I'll catch you up later than, bye!  
Goodbye Mungo. After his guest was gone, Quaxo sat down and cleaned the dirt of the book cover.  
The sun glinted of the gold stamped letters and seemed to illuminate the room.  
Perhaps this book is magical after all, Quaxo thought, but thought vanished from his mind as he read the title.

RUM TUM TUGGER'S GUIDE TO DATING


	2. Parte Due

Rum Tum Tugger's Guide to Dating  
By Electric Fire

A/N: Thank you, Lobo Diablo and Ralli-Rah. I am glad you are enjoying it. A cookie for both of you!

Parte Due

Quaxo could not believe his eyes, Surely they deceive me! the cat exclaimed, I do not believe that Rum Tum Tugger would leave this book about for Mungojerrie to come upon'. Even he is not THAT careless.

Placing the book upon the table, Quaxo sighed, What to do...

Now, there is one thing that you must know about Quaxo; he is a very honest cat.

He likes to keep the trickery and slight of hand on stage when he performs as the magical Mr. Mistoffelees.

So, being the honest Jellicle he is, Quaxo (after his morning bath, and making sure to clean behind his ears) set out to visit Rum Tum Tugger.

Rum Tum Tugger was (thankfully) alone when Quaxo arrived, and was in the middle of his morning grooming.  
Hold on a sec, Misto. I'll be right there! Called Tugger.

Quaxo replied, and looked around Rum Tum Tugger's section of the junkyard.

It basically consisted of a ton of various pillows propped up in various positions - much like a human child's play-fort.

Quaxo had barely begun to wonder what the pillows were for, when Tugger came out, wiping his face with a towel.

So, Misto, what can I do for you?Um... I found this book... the smaller cat thrust the book at Tugger, who flipped it over, then grinned.

Did you read this?N..no. Of course not! Quaxo blushed and Tugger continued,

And you just happened to find it? Strange, for I am certain that is was locked away.

As Quaxo stumbled over a reply, the tom cat laughed, Ha ha, you must have had a visit from your old pal, Mungojerrie.Well what?Yes... but he didn't read it either!

Tugger nodded, Of course he didn't... but would you like to?If you do me a few favors I will let you read it, And with that, Tugger hand Quaxo a small slip of paper, then sent him off.

Rather befuddled, the young tom stood there a second before comprehending what had just happened.

So... if I run these errands, I get to read his secret book? I don't see anything wrong with that... Quickly, the magical cat skimmed down the list. Seconds later he found himself blushing furiously, Oh..my... How do I get myself into these messes?


End file.
